don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
