After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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