I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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