i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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