Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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