Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
