so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
nutella sex= disaster
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
MIDGETS
????
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
