they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
