I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Green mimosas i think yes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
