let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
