I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize