what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
