I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
