Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
