Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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