I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
