There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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