you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
