Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
