I CAN MOONWALK!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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