I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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