By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
