So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
