I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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