Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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