$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The power of my boobs compel you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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