you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Found your dick twin last night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
