actually, I'm a sock model
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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