So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
