small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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