erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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