Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You don't make any sense
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