I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
