Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
