I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
