This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do herpes really smell.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
