I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
