Me too!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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