like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
