Buhtt sex?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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