As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize