Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
