My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
