oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize