I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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