I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
