there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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