I'm so fucking centered right now
Michael Bay diarrhea
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
