I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
