I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize