shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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