The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
