Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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