I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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