We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
