My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
