Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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