All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize