i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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