Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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